Paramendra Bhagat

changetheratio:

Later, I would need that hand for the two additional bags from Bloomingdale’s. (Taken with instagram.)

So - I posted this picture as the last in a series from yesterday, detailing my day of shopping with one of my oldest friends who took me for my first time to the shoe floor at Sak’s and then on to Bendel’s. It was great fun, as well as an essential NYC learning experience (SheFinds founder Michelle Madhok was moved enough to send encouragement from Rio, along with an admonition: “appalled that this is the 1st time you’ve been on Sak’s shoe floor. What kind of woman are you??”) Ha.

I’ve been thinking a lot about yesterday, perhaps trying to justify the fact that I bought 5 pairs of shoes, a ring, under-eye toner, eye brightener, and two sets of upscale press-on nails. Here’s what I came up with, vis a vis startups and entrepreneurship:

(1) Shopping is about aspiration. Everything I bought yesterday reflected what I want to be - a grown-up lady wearing grown-up lady shoes; a less grown-up lady rebelling against such things; a person who looks less tired (and, er, less ‘grown up’). Plus a pretty ring, which is clearly meant to be worn on a hand that offers no competition. In retrospect, I could not have telegraphed my current state of mind more clearly. Which leads me to my next observation:

(2) Shopping is about identity: Everything I bought yesterday felt very much like me, even those Coach shoes that I didn’t Instagram because my battery died that are not really at all like me. At least, it felt like some version of me - the so-called “grown-up lady” felt appropriate for the woman who speaks on panels and attends important meetings; the funkier peep-toe slingback heels felt like the me who runs out to meet friends for dinner on a Saturday night in jeggings. Putting on those shoes and looking in the mirror looked at the outward manifestations of the me I already feel like - or one of those me’s. Is there overlap here with ‘aspirational?’ Absolutely. We are constantly evolving, and constantly pushing to be our best - or at least keep the world from seeing what we fear is our worst.

(3) Shopping is about connecting. It isn’t always - sometimes it’s a utilitarian pop-in to Victoria’s Secret to pick up a different pair of underwear because the ones you’re wearing sorta show a line with the dress you’re wearing, and you ran out of the house quickly and thought it was fine if you sucked in, but by midday you were so self-conscious that you had to make the switch. Not that I would know anything about that. Where was I. Right - shopping is about connecting. I would not have gone to Saks on my own, or Bendel’s or Bloomie’s - not on a beautiful Saturday when there was so much Internet to surf. But I was with my good friend Hilary, and after meeting her fam for brunch she had the afternoon to shop while her hub took the kids to the Natural History Museum. Hil is an entertainment lawyer in Toronto, a busy-as-hell partner at a big law firm, and this was the time she had, her ‘me’ time that I got to share with her. Honestly - for a friend I rarely get to spend long, easy hours with, the whole thing was freaking priceless. I started by coming along with her, guarding her purse while she foraged, but when I started participating it was just a great way of connecting - asking each other what we thought of this pair or that in between gabbing and catching up. It felt very much like what I think Tereza is going for with Honestly Now. I am more than fine to shop alone (“Clearly,” say the people at Forever 21), but shopping with a friend for higher-stakes items (higher price point = higher standard of must-love and/or must-have-critical-utility) was an entirely different experience. And it was so much fun.

(4) Shopping is about impulse. Again, leaving aside the necessity-shop items that are errands and to-dos as opposed to treats and indulgences, this is something we all know. There IS something to retail therapy, and there ARE triggers. If I hadn’t recently been quietly stressing about the slight changes you notice here and there as you get older (as I have been, as sharp-eyed watchers on Foursquare and Instagram might guess), I might not have felt moved to buy 5 pairs of, frankly, super-hot heels. Or been such an easy mark for the Trish McEvoy lady who lured me in with eye-brighteners (almost bought a Bobbi Brown one too, but they were out). These things are not unrelated.

(5) The really, really big shops hit all of the above. I shop, yes, but I don’t do a monster mofo shop like this that often. In fact, I’d say I do it about once a year, at the intersection of opportunity & impulse. I did it last August with my cousin Suzanne and her friend Stacey, after Suz and I had done our shoot for Estee Lauder. Stacey is a pro, and led us straight to Jefferey - so by the time we got to Scoop all the prices seemed reasonable. More than that, I was in an a state of pretty heightened emotion, in a good way (posing topless against breast cancer with your breast-cancer-beating cousin will bring out a lot), and in an incredibly safe space (the love was flowing) - right at a time when I was moving to the next stage of my professional life (Aug 2010 - Mediaite in the rearview mirror, CTR & startup world ahead). If you think I wasn’t going to buy 4 awesome kickass power-woman dresses at DVF, well then you don’t understand just how ready I was to be the kind of woman who wore awesome kickass power-woman dresses - or how good I must have been feeling that day in order to do so. Shopping with Hilary yesterday brought that day back to me - as well as bringing me back to Bloomingdale’s for the first time since last September, when the #BCAPledge photos were unveiled.

Other big shops - a Nov ‘09 odyssey at Scoop after my trip to Israel; a fall ‘06 more-than-my-rent LES boutique tour after watching and re-watching the opening credits of The Devil Wears Prada, slack-jawed and glassy-eyed. I’m sure I made some key acquisitions somewhere in between, as anyone who has been to the clothes explosion I call my apartment can tell you. The point is, if you don’t get how shopping can trigger and be triggered by emotion, then you are missing out on making some serious money in that space.

(5) Understanding Shopping Needs Means Making A Lot Of Money. Which brings me to why I posted this long and maybe-more-revealing-than-necessary tale of personal excess: this is, by and large, a chick thing. (But not completely, cough cough Svpply.com cough). The experiences of shopping detailed above are by no means unique to me - nor are they unique to people who can never afford to go to Saks, or who can always afford to go to Saks (I fall rather closer to one end of the spectrum. Guess which one?) There is a definite commonality of the experience - and for those who understand that, there is lots of money to be made.

Which is why we are seeing such an explosion of great fashion-and-beauty related startups in New York - Fashism, Rent the Runway, Bauble Bar, Birchbox, Clothia, She Finds, AHA Life, Of A Kind, Go Try It On - because these are real experiences, and there are real pleasure and pain points within them that, if hit correctly, can open up a huge stream of commerce. Does this look okay on me? I can’t afford to buy that dress but oh wow would I feel amazing wearing it. I love accessories but can get overwhelmed by choice. The makeup counter confuses me - and is an expensive place to make wrong decisions. I like this skirt but what will it look like on me? I don’t want to wear what everyone else is wearing. If you have never been at a makeup counter confronted with serums and creams and primers and toners and firmers and brighteners and concealers - all before you get to the various permutations of a mascara brush (and, perhaps, the hidden benefits), then maybe you won’t get Birchbox. And if you’ve never gotten googly-eyed over a dress you could never afford but sort of fall for in that I-just-want-to-be-near-you-and-maybe-stroke-you-gently-for-a-moment sort of way, then you might not understand what’s so special about Rent the Runway. And if you’ve never agonized in the harsh light of a fitting room over something you’ve just invested a solid 10 minutes squeezing into and just need some goddamned backup, then you might not see the power Fashism, or by extension, Honestly Now.

Which brings us back to yesterday’s post about the mostly male world of VC and angel investing, and the opportunities inherent in looking at ideas (and markets) from a diverse perspective. Those who “don’t get” those opportunities will miss out on them. Unfortunately, they’ll take the entrepreneurs who need the runway of their cash infusion with them. As I said yesterday, that does seem to be changing - it was back in October that Fred Wilson talked about being challenged at evaluating the fashion sector, and I bet his answers would be different today - things have moved very fast since then, and for the better. (And my gut says it will accrue to the benefit of Buyosphere, Tara Hunt’s shopping-meets-data-history startup, her experiences with which prompted her to write the blog post which started this conversation.) But thinking back on my personal experiences of yesterday, I was really struck by how much money I spent on things I didn’t really need for purely emotional reasons. And when you get that, you’ve got a gold mine.

That’s probably more information about me and my inner life than anyone needs to know, but if it helps change the ratio I’m happy to buy as many pairs of super-hot shoes as it takes. Really, really happy.

p.s. More evidence that shopping is just as much about experience as it is utility: I just pledged my never-ending love for Sak’s, but join many an experienced shopping woman in hating Macy’s.

p.p.s. For more on the emotional value of giant shopping excursions, I’d refer you to Alice Marwick, who knows about such things.

I plead guilty to not “getting” shopping. I mean, I can understand shopping for mindfood, but even there I like the pay a low monthly fee for all you can eat kind of arrangements, and digital is better, they don’t take space, and I can understand shopping for food, because although they do take space, you can eat them up. But shopping for stuff? I don’t get it. Stuff take space. I like big, empty spaces. If you like shopping a lot, you must shop often, and where does all that stuff go? You only have one pair of feet.